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Ok, here it is, my travelogue in convenient tabular form. Photos may come later.

Meh.	Not half bad	Loved it!
Neeps. Gross. Stick to the tatties.	Haggis is not gross at all. Same for blood sausage—if you don't examine the ingredients that closely, it's all good.	Lorne sausage, my new favorite. It's kind of like pork roll but more chunky. And square. And instead of ketchup, you eat it with "red sauce" which is, well, ketchup, but foreign.
Loch Lomond's Retail Crescent	Edinburgh Castle, and the town in general. Wish I'd had more time to spend here.	The ubiquitous Costa Coffees who saved us from headaches every morning.
Bud and Miller, everyfuckingwhere	70 shilling ale	80 shilling ale
Blisters	Blister Plasters	Nurofen Plus, with codeine, and OTC UTI stuff, which actually works. I brought back several boxes.
Wee standard pub measures of alcohol.	Double shots, very common, but still not as much as a US pour	Pitchers of vodka and Red Bull. NOW you're talking. What do you mean, how many glasses do I need with that?
Fiat Multipla. They've actually managed to come up with a car that's uglier than the Elephant, and presumably less reliable too. Unfuckingbelievable. Don't miss the other images on the Fiat page, you need to see this thing from every angle.	Good ol' Smart cars. There's one parked in Schiphol airport every time I go through there.	The Baby Merc, high-end CUTE CAR extraordinaire.
Yorkie bars. Go ahead and boycott them, but do it because the chocolate is shite.	Irn Bru... I still have no idea what the stuff is supposed to taste like, but I drank a bunch of it. Their alcopop version is interesting, but I wouldn't make a habit of it.	STP. Ooh, baby. Yeah. Just like that.
The woman on the JFK airport bus who used the expression "I was like..." 29 times after I started counting, which was long after she'd done it enough in her brief phone conversation to be annoying.	Our FIERCELY, FIERCELY PATRIOTIC pal from Lauder's pub. Never has a history lesson been so entertaining.	The sweet, friendly, and attractive, no matter what gender they're wearing, people of Glasgow and Glasgay, and their excellent boy/girlfriends.
Roast beef and mustard crisps. Sadly, not too good, they pretty much just tasted like dijon mustard. There was so little meat flavor, B had one. Nice and hot, sinus-clearing like wasabi crackers, but way too salty.	Walkers crisps in general. They have some really weird flavors, all of which have been creepily accurate.	Chips with everything. My people!
Total lack of MLS coverage on the sports channels over here. Not that it's surprising, but dang. They cover the Romanian League, for chrissake.	Rugby. All you can eat.	Televised darts! I got sucked in like I've done in past years with sumo, world poker, and that euonym girl in the spelling bee. Sweaty fat guys and the fascinating Bobby George. One HUNDRED EIGHTYYYYYYYY!

5:03 PM