Friday, January 26
Just to leave this on a nicer note, the day wasn't a total waste. I invented a new fortune-telling method. I call it the Chi-Ching. Here is how it works: look in your pocket when you need guidance. Note the state quarters you have. Look up their mottos, and there you have your fortune.
Today I had two New Hampshires and a Massachusetts. (Live free or die, live free or die, and by the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty.)
I think this could catch on.12:49 AM